Okay so i wrote this story and I wanna see your review on it. Don’t remind me about spelling, grammer or capitalization errors cause i know, and I was gonna edit and revise it after I get your reviews so I can change everything at once. But anyways Im in the 8th grade and I would like to continue forward and make this into a book (a short one) but I don’t know where to go with it. Any ideas? Thanks(:

Here it is:

I sat at the edge of the lake, like i do every morning. I starred off into the magnificent sunrise, thinking… Thinking about Jacob, i loved him so dearly but to no surprise we faded apart.

The day we met i had seemed like we knew each other for ages. Blind to everything in the world but him, this was truly love at first sight. I took one glance at him and knew he, Jacob, was the one i would spend the rest of my life with. His tall , muscular body, with long brown hair barley covering his stunning blue eyes, made me breathless.

"Today," he said, "I will make this the most unforgettable day of your life." He grabbed my hand and sprinted out side to his old ford truck. "My lady," he gestured to the open door, helping me up. "Thank you very much," I thanked him with the happiest grin on my face. Leaping into the car, he handed me a blindfold, he insisted i put it on so that it was a surprise as to where he was taking me. It was a long drive, soon i was getting a little bit nervous, but as i heard his calming voice, immediately my nervousness was overcome by excitement.

The long drive soon ended as the car pulled off the the road. I reached up about to remove the blind fold. "NO! Please don’t do that Jasmine, it will ruin my surprise." I giggled to his seriousness but reluctantly i kept it on. He raced around the car to my door. As he opened the door i turned my body sideways to face him, with one storng gesture, he grabbed me around my waist and lifted me down to the ground. I was falling in love, and all i could do is stand there and smile. He grabbed my hand and lead me down a path. Once we got to the bottom of this mysterious place, he lifted me up and carried me to a seat, where he then set my down. "Okay Jasmine, are you ready?" Not being able to speak, i just nodded my head.

I was breathless. I stood up and walked around, turning in a full 360. Nobody was in sight, just me and him. I was standing in a little beach house with no walls, just curtains for privacy. In the middle of the this was and over sized hammock with a small night stand next to it. But that was just the least of my amazement, it was stunning, the view. We were on a beach with warm, soft sand that stretched miles on either side of us. In front of us was the calm, beautiful, blue ocean meeting the multicolored horizon. Now that it was almost night fall, the sky was absolutely breathtaking.

"Jacob.. Oh my gosh! This is magnificent!" I exclaimed with joyful tears in my eyes. I ran over to him and swung my arms around him. He lifted me up and spun me around. "I’m so glad you like it." Jacob had a huge grin on his face! "I have something for you," he said so mysteriously, "I’ll be right back though, its in my truck." As he sprinted up to his truck i just stood their taking in the beauty.

When he came back he was in swim trunks, and a button down shirt. Holding a bikini in one hang and i towel in another he handed it to me. "Here, i thought we could have fun and go swimming, you can go change behind those curtains, I’ll be waiting for you on the beach," and with that he walked out to give me privacy. I changed into the bikini and went outside to meet him.

After hours of swimming and splashing around in the water having fun it started to get dark, so he took my hand and we started walking down the beach. We were talking about everything and anything. Just laughing and having a good romantic time. After walking till one in the morning he drove me home, he told me we should do that again sometime. I agreed. After he left i fell asleep soundly, and dreamt about him that night.

The next couple days i didnt want to seem too anxious and call him, so i waited… After a week went by i called and I couldn’t reach him. Soon after a couple months went by, i tried any number under him name, not wanting to lose him. Soon after six months i realized, i was probably never going to talk to him or see him ever again. I cried my eyes out for days, and became depressed after a while. I had just lost my first real love.

YES! I realize theres capitalization, gramatically and spelling errors. Don’t remind me please, just on the quality of the writing thanks. Sorry It’s long.

I sat at the edge of the lake, like i do every morning. I starred off into the magnificent sunrise, thinking… Thinking about Jacob, i loved him so dearly but to no surprise we faded apart.

The day we met i had seemed like we knew each other for ages. Blind to everything in the world but him, this was truly love at first sight. I took one glance at him and knew he, Jacob, was the one i would spend the rest of my life with. His tall , muscular body, with long brown hair barley covering his stunning blue eyes, made me breathless.

"Today," he said, "I will make this the most unforgettable day of your life." He grabbed my hand and sprinted out side to his old ford truck. "My lady," he gestured to the open door, helping me up. "Thank you very much," I thanked him with the happiest grin on my face. Leaping into the car, he handed me a blindfold, he insisted i put it on so that it was a surprise as to where he was taking me. It was a long drive, soon i was getting a little bit nervous, but as i heard his calming voice, immediately my nervousness was overcome by excitement.

The long drive soon ended as the car pulled off the the road. I reached up about to remove the blind fold. "NO! Please don’t do that Jasmine, it will ruin my surprise." I giggled to his seriousness but reluctantly i kept it on. He raced around the car to my door. As he opened the door i turned my body sideways to face him, with one storng gesture, he grabbed me around my waist and lifted me down to the ground. I was falling in love, and all i could do is stand there and smile. He grabbed my hand and lead me down a path. Once we got to the bottom of this mysterious place, he lifted me up and carried me to a seat, where he then set my down. "Okay Jasmine, are you ready?" Not being able to speak, i just nodded my head.

I was breathless. I stood up and walked around, turning in a full 360. Nobody was in sight, just me and him. I was standing in a little beach house with no walls, just curtains for privacy. In the middle of the this was and over sized hammock with a small night stand next to it. But that was just the least of my amazement, it was stunning, the view. We were on a beach with warm, soft sand that stretched miles on either side of us. In front of us was the calm, beautiful, blue ocean meeting the multicolored horizon. Now that it was almost night fall, the sky was absolutely breathtaking.

"Jacob.. Oh my gosh! This is magnificent!" I exclaimed with joyful tears in my eyes. I ran over to him and swung my arms around him. He lifted me up and spun me around. "I’m so glad you like it." Jacob had a huge grin on his face! "I have something for you," he said so mysteriously, "I’ll be right back though, its in my truck." As he sprinted up to his truck i just stood their taking in the beauty.

When he came back he was in swim trunks, and a button down shirt. Holding a bikini in one hang and i towel in another he handed it to me. "Here, i thought we could have fun and go swimming, you can go change behind those curtains, I’ll be waiting for you on the beach," and with that he walked out to give me privacy. I changed into the bikini and went outside to meet him.

After hours of swimming and splashing around in the water having fun it started to get dark, so he took my hand and we started walking down the beach. We were talking about everything and anything. Just laughing and having a good romantic time. After walking till one in the morning he drove me home, he told me we should do that again sometime. I agreed. After he left i fell asleep soundly, and dreamt about him that night.

The next couple days i didnt want to seem too anxious and call him, so i waited… After a week went by i called and I couldn’t reach him. Soon after a couple months went by, i tried any number under him name, not wanting to lose him. Soon after six months i realized, i was probably never going to talk to him or see him ever again. I cried my eyes out for days, and became depressed after a while. I had just lost my first real love.

Homemade Nimblewill style stove of 26 gauge steel. I sized it down a tiny bit from the online templates (www.thru-hiker.com lewill_stove.php) so that it can better fit a Snow Peak 700. It worked on its first use, but not as well as it might have. I think it was the lack of draft at the bottom. I may make a new bottom with holes and see how that works. Notice too the high quality 9-year-old’s cinematography. Notice as well my Mora Bushcraft Triflex in a cameo role as The Firestarter. I should add that the whole thing including the little tyvek envelope I made for it comes in at just under 3oz (that is less than a Nalgene bottle). It is a bit rickity, but it held up a full Snow Peak 1400 with no problems.

DD Hammocks XL Tarp

The Original Canopy Chair is an ideal chair for any outdoor activity. It provides 100% UV protection and is comfortable, practical, and portable. The canopy is movable and waterproof. Email us at: pdwconcepts@cox.net Call us at: 602-405-5711 Fax: 480-491-5711 Website: www.pdwconcepts.com Each chair is and is available in green, burgundy, red, or blue. (price does not include shipping)